Demystifying Happiness

I remember registering 03 June 2015 as the happiest day of my life, as I was blessed with a very beautiful and healthy baby boy that day, I was in the operation theater watching doctors carefully performing the operation, and there he came out and I still can recall his first cry, damn, I just could not hold my manly tears of happiness that moment. He was taken away from me and kept in the children’s ICU for the next three days and I was allowed to visit the ICU every two hours to see him and feed him with my hands. My eyes would get tears out of sheer happiness every time I would see him. We came home, he started growing fast, he started recognizing me as his father, he became the world to me.

But we got separated in 2017 and I just could not meet him or see him for two and a half years. But when I finally saw him, that day became “The Happiest Day” of my life, my eyes just could not stop shedding tears of joy and my body just could not stop hugging and kissing him. It was the most intense moment of my life, it was more intense than the moment when I first held him in my arms after his birth.

Why was it like that? What’s the difference? Why didn’t I cry whenever I was with him all day long? Why did I not cry every time he would wake up next to me? Why did I not hug him and kiss him like I did this time every day when we were together? Why do we cry only when we get separated from someone? Why don’t we cry every time we hug our loved ones? Why don’t our eyes get moist every time we see our children in the morning? Why don’t we feel extreme joy when we see our parents every time?

Because we become less aware of the fact that they are the “triggers” of our happiness.

What was your “Happiest day”?

Remember when someone asks this question, we start comparing the best days and try to find one, or we sometimes don’t even know. Why are we afraid of saying that I have ten happiest days in my life? Every day can be your happiest day for a different reason. You can experience extreme happiness each day for the rest of your life. It will just require some training and awareness.

Now, the big question is, “What is happiness?’’

As the famous Israeli- American Psychologist Daniel Kahneman believes it’s

‘’what you experience, here and now’’.

Whereas, Ruut Veenhoven the very famous Dutch sociologist who is known for his study of happiness defines Happiness as “overall appreciation of one’s life as-a-whole”.

Now, if we go back in time and believe that our ancestors were smarter than us, then Aristotle has defined Happiness as “eudaimonia” which is translated as an activity rather than an emotion or a state of mind.

Then what is this “Happiness” that everybody is seeking since the beginning of the time but there is not one single definition? Science says it’s a biochemical process that’s caused by the hormones called endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin. Well, if that’s the case then having Chocolate dipped bananas while exercising under the sun with your favorite music playing in the background should be the key to ultimate happiness, but is it?

Happiness can be in your possession (as you like to believe) by possessing something materialistic that you have been dreaming for a long long time, like a car, the latest mobile phone or a very expensive handbag. If only possessing things could be the source of unlimited happiness then these things would not be out for resale in the market.

Go on (Seriously) and check the internet for anything, anything that you think will make you happy if you possess it. You ‘ll find it online for re-sale, be it a helicopter, a Bentley, latest sports bike or the latest iPhone. There will always be a person who is bored or tired of it because it didn’t bring the happiness they were seeking or the happiness didn’t last long.

So, what is it that makes you happy that you are not aware of it?

It’s the smallest of the reasons around you. Your family, your kids, your partners, your friends, your hobbies, your passion, your breath, the food, the air, the water, the chirping bird, the warmth of a hug, the smile, the wiggling of the tail, the first sip of your favorite drink. It’s everything that makes you register the present moment. And it will keep increasing as you will become more aware and mindful of things around you.

Happiness is simple and happiness is “now”, but we tend to put it in the future on something that we want to earn, achieve or possess. Let’s try to keep it simple as it is. Instead of putting something responsible for our happiness.

Living each moment mindfully and with full of your awareness will give you the chance to notice your blessings and the triggers of happiness.

The best way is to carry a “stone of gratitude” in your pocket, it’s no less than the infinity stone. It can be any pabble or a small stone that you like and keep it in your right pocket or bag where your hand will go often. Each time you touch the stone, just pause and take a moment to look around and notice your triggers of happiness. It can be your kids, your partner, the book you read, the food you just ate, the air you are breathing, anything just anything that you can feel thankful to have in your life…and your life itself. The role of the stone of gratitude is to remind you of the present moment and the triggers of happiness at that very moment.

Life is simple, so it is to stay happy. It just requires your attention and awareness. Promise yourself to be open and more aware of the smallest of the reasons that are there in your life, and trust me there will be no dull moment from now on.

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